There are situations in which you can do without it.
One of the “golden” rules of raising a child is the ability to teach him to say “magic” words. Along with “thank you”, “please”, “hello” and “goodbye” was the word “sorry”.
8 things you should never apologize for
- For the truth. I think everyone here will remember his story. For example, a child did not eat grandma’s pie, calling it tasteless. Parents poke the child in the side: “Sorry, she tried for you!”. But what if he really didn’t like the cake? Apologizing for the truth means not having the right to your own opinion.
- For your refusal. Never ask for forgiveness for something you don’t want to do. Saying “no” does not need to be backed up with your apologies, since you have nothing to feel guilty about.
- For other people’s expectations. You do not have to and are not obliged to conform to anyone’s norms, rules, expectations. You can not live with other people’s interests, desires and maintain the image that a person has created in his head. Learn how to balance your personal life and work here.
- For their life views, principles, opinion. It is important to live the way you want, and not according to imposed patterns or looking back at others.
- For what is the duty of others. Brought the wrong order at the restaurant? “Sorry, but I didn’t order this.” And if the hairdresser ruined the hair? Is it also worth answering: “Sorry, but I didn’t order this”? Perhaps this is an exaggeration, but these apologies have nothing to do with politeness, but only with asserting your boundaries and the right to receive quality services that you pay for.
- For your desires. Believe me, this is your right, and not a reason to ask for forgiveness from yourself, or even more so from others. Being alone, going on vacation in the winter, spending money on yourself is not selfishness, but a healthy desire of any person.
- For your emotions. You can’t blame yourself for tears, or for a good mood – we are all people and have the right to express our feelings. It’s bad to hold back emotions.
- For others. The actions of adults and capable people are not your area of responsibility.
- For ignorance. Knowing everything is impossible. Learning new things is much more pleasant than guilt, and the ability to admit that you do not know something is a sign of strength.
- For no guilt. Do not make excuses and do not take responsibility if you have nothing to do with what happened. To mitigate an unpleasant situation, you can express regret, acknowledge the emotions of the other person, or offer an alternative.
What is an apology, really? This is an admission of guilt to someone for something. But, unfortunately, many apologize “just like that.” This can be “justified” by politeness, a desire to please, please, but basically these are problems with self-esteem and personal boundaries. Do not forget that the feeling of guilt is not innate, but formed. And frank rudeness can not be covered with apologies.
